Time

Feeling good about the fact that I've actually kept up with writing every day for 3 days in a row now. Apparently it takes 66 days to fully integrate a habit though so I make no guarantees.

This isn't meant to be a diary so I'm not gonna do "day summaries" unless I don't have time or can't think of anything else to write about, but today was the end of my first official week at my new job, so that's cool! Next week things really ramp up and then we have our first show on Friday, so looking forward to all of that.

Not too much on my mind today — or, I guess, lots on my mind but nothing coherent enough to write about. Also I procrastinated writing this for so long I'm too tired now to be interesting or intelligent.

Trying to take small steps to move myself forward instead of trying to force myself into big changes that just end up overwhelming me. Committing to writing every day is one step. There's a lot I want to get to but I know I can't get to all of it right away. Everything takes time.

Time time time, I'm never sure what to do with it. Half of me is terrified of wasting it or losing it or it passing by too quickly, and the other half wants to do away with it entirely. I guess the things you want to be over right away always seem to take forever, and the things you want to last forever seem to be over right away.

Hopefully learning to be ok with where I am in whatever moment I'm in, no matter what (or when) the moment is.

— Ella